Who will I become at the end of my story?

This phrase came as a helping hand. My vision for the future was blurry but the answer to this question came naturally.

I never really asked myself who I would become at the end of my story. Would my dreams come to a completion? Would I be someone I'm proud of? Would I have regrets?

Relying on my own understanding means I'm limiting myself to my own limitations. This wasn't something I was aspiring for.

This past month, during Lent, I've tried to change my life.

Not changing in a 360-degree but through surgically targeted areas.

I've reduced my screen time by 62.5%.

I've been more disciplined towards reading and writing.

I've spent more time understanding the bible and working on what was blocking light in my life.

I'm the author of my life, but I still don't know the ending chapters.

I can rewrite new pages, tear them, close the book, and open it at my own rhythm.

But what if my rhythm isn't in sync with what life has in store for me?

But what if I aimlessly write my story without the right discernment?

But what if I direct my life according to my emotions and state of being?

But what if I choose to have a co-author I can lean on to write my story?

That co-author could fill in the gaps when I'm too weary to leap.

That co-author could be my guide when I feel lost on the pages.

That co-author could bring a new vision and perspective to my limited understanding.

And what if I chose God as my co-author?

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

If God has a plan of welfare and not evil, a plan of hope, why not choose him as a co-author? It made complete sense for me to entrust the Lord with my life. To be in the passenger seat while he drives me through life. As said in Proverbs 16:9, "A man’s mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." In the past, I had so many dreams that failed. For instance, I had the dream to study in the USA. I worked hard, got a scholarship and failed to go. I tried again, worked even harder, got a scholarship and failed yet again. I fell into depression. I thought I was a failure and my life was doomed. I couldn't imagine my life in Mauritius since I built my whole childhood dream on going to the USA. And it crumbled. But what if it was not in my co-author's plan? I can have my dreams and goals, but ultimately God directs the path. He knows what lies in front of me. That dream could have been too small for what he has in store for me. At that time, I was the only author and relied on my own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."

What is required of me?

I cannot just say: "Now God is my co-author", and continue as before. My identity is at stake when I choose my pleasures over his way of life. A desire to be happy apart from God is sin. Sin blocks blessings. So, during this Lent season, I've had an honest conversation with myself. I asked myself: What is blocking God's grace in my life? I took note of all these things that didn't align with God's word and shredded them one by one. This act is a lifelong process; it demands faith and self-control to have a disciplined mind.

What is also required of me is to lay the actions, put in the efforts and align with the Word of God. We are now a team. I rely on his strength and guidance to help me achieve my highest potential. I surrender all my plans and allow him to write my story.

Hebrews 12:2; "Looking to Jesus the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."

These words from the scriptures are God's promises for us. God's ultimate sacrifice secured our ending. He started our story well before we were in the womb, but also secures the ending.

So, who will I become at the end of my story?

At the end of my story, I shall not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)