A square that sees herself as the sun

Am I too impassioned with life? To the point of feeling like an interloper. What welded people and me was an invisible string, which is now hanging by a thread. I feel so out of place. I rented my silence not to expose the real Mary-Grace. I’m afraid that if she speaks and jokes around, the world might see her as a clown filling a part-time job.

I’ve been skipping along the walls like a paperless person. Reading in cafes during my breaks and having solo lunches at noon. At my desk, headphones on, The Chosen playing in the background. God’s words make my days a little brighter. 

It’s an itchy feeling to be a square that sees herself as the sun. I want to bring some light into people’s lives, but I keep bumping heads in this chaos. I feel like a ghost.

Yes, I am too impassioned with life. Too much that I can’t dose my energy around people. I see in their eyes that I’m too much, too loud, too funny, too, too, too whatever. When I try to dose my energy, I feel like I’m a ghost. When I revert to myself, I see in their eyes that I’m too much. My capacity to read people's energy makes me a vampire. So, what can I do to feel at home?

I’m skipping along the walls searching for answers…